I Wanna Love Like He Loves

It has been 3 years plus since I last published in my blog. That's way too long. It's ironic, or maybe not if you believe in coincidences, that it was on my mind to write on the topic of love and come to find out the very last blog I wrote was about love. Hmmmmm .... God, I'm listening.

"They say" - I don't know who they are - but it has been said that if you want to show someone you love them, you find out or PAY ATTENTION to what their likes and interests are and what they love and show some interest yourself.

For instance, if someone likes to dance and you want to spend time with that person, get to know more about them, or just let them know you care, then maybe you would take them out dancing or take them to a movie about dancing or  .... you get the idea.

Well, I love God and He tells me that if I love Him then I will follow His commandments like loving my neighbor and my enemy. He says to be angry and sin not and to bear all, hope all, endure all, and believe all. I summed up a few scriptures just now. Here are the actual scriptures for your reference. (John 14:15, Matt. 5:44, Matt. 22:39, Eph. 4:26, 1 Cor. 13:7).

Here's my problem though. I find myself becoming annoyed or angry when others don't love me like I love them. I mean, I think I try my best to get to know what they like or what interests them, like family. Surely if you see me loving your family you will know that I love you and maybe return the favor. However, if it is not shown in the exact manner in which I have bestowed my love upon them then I am a bit frustrated. I'm aware that I'm judging and it goes back to my last post. We all want a faithful love. We ultimately want our love reciprocated and oftentimes the love we give to others is not given back to us in the same form by the same person and for me ... I'm scared to be left emotionally bankrupt from every person I decide to invest in. And honestly that's sometimes how I feel.

I mean, if my love language is words but his or her love language is physical touch. What if you don't care to speak my love language then what's my motivation to indulge in yours? Then, I take the time to call someone, but their rule is to not call married people (I feel discriminated against at this point), so now all the burden and responsibility is on me to continue to build the relationship cause basically you've already told me that you will NEVER call me.

I know I have my work cut out for me. I just wanted this forum to begin the conversation of loving like God loves. I mean, we do everything but follow His commandments and He still loves us, no matter what. I wanna love like Jesus loves us! But I'm scared. I'm being transparent. I still have my walls up. I'm tired of lip service. I want to be more, no matter what others do around me. My actions should not depend on others if His love truly resides in me. That's basically what 1 John 2 is referring to.

If you read this, thanks for taking the time to read my rambling thoughts. It's been awhile so please forgive this first and rough draft but had to get it out. My hope is to continue on this journey of Self-Reflection into who I was, who I am, have always been, and who I want to be. Always improving.

I'm getting there ....